0.000000 6.440000 How much of your life are you postponing because you don't feel ready yet, ready to start,
6.440000 10.840000 ready to change something, ready to apply yourself, maybe ready to leave, ready to speak
10.840000 14.080000 up, or ready to take yourself seriously.
14.080000 18.240000 A lot of us who are living our lives out there thinking that in order to do any of the
18.240000 24.640000 above change yourself or your approach or how you live your life, we need to feel confident
24.640000 25.640000 first.
25.640000 26.640000 We do not.
26.640000 27.640000 We do not.
27.640000 28.640000 We need to get into action first.
28.640000 33.080000 The longer we wait for certainty before we act, the smaller our life becomes because
33.080000 35.480000 we stop getting out there and living it.
35.480000 36.800000 We stay inside.
36.800000 37.800000 We isolate.
37.800000 39.520000 We wait for just the right feeling.
39.520000 44.040000 Today I want to talk to you about the cost of that hesitation because waiting can look
44.040000 45.680000 responsible.
45.680000 49.820000 Sometimes it's just fear in a nicer outfit.
49.820000 52.820000 Let's get into it.
52.820000 63.700000 Welcome to this life of ours, a space for real conversations, heartfelt insight, and
63.700000 64.700000 everyday coaching.
64.700000 71.280000 I'm your host, Coach Emily B., Life Coach, Storyteller, Deepfieler, and Vermont Hobby
71.280000 72.280000 Finder.
72.280000 76.860000 Around the year, we talked through what it means to grow, feel, and stay grounded in
76.860000 79.740000 the life you've got while reaching for the one you want.
79.740000 83.740000 I'll teach, I'll coach, I'll talk to myself.
83.740000 89.140000 No matter the episode, I hope you leave, feeling a little more connected and a little less
89.140000 91.540000 alone in the life of yours.
91.540000 97.120000 I'm so glad you're here.
97.120000 98.880000 Welcome to the podcast.
98.880000 104.560000 This is not our first episode ever, but it is the first episode on YouTube and with video,
104.560000 111.120000 I wanted this first one to be about your confidence, your decisions, you getting in motion in your
111.120000 116.920000 life because I think so many women are quietly living in preparation mode.
116.920000 122.440000 Men too, but especially women, thinking about what they want, researching it, talking about
122.440000 127.840000 it, planning it, imagining it, but not fully stepping into it.
127.840000 133.560000 After a while, that hesitation starts feeling normal, maybe even starts feeling like just
133.560000 135.040000 something you have to do.
135.040000 141.080000 You stop noticing how often you talk yourself out of things, how often you delay your decisions,
141.080000 144.840000 how often you abandon yourself before you even begin.
144.840000 150.480000 This episode is really about learning how to move before you feel fully confident because
150.480000 153.680000 that's how actual confidence gets built.
153.680000 154.680000 Movement.
154.680000 159.560000 One of the biggest understandings, no, misunderstandings that people have is this idea that successful
159.560000 164.660000 people feel ready before they act, no, they don't, no, they do not.
164.660000 168.440000 They act while they're scared, they act while they're uncertain, they act while it's just
168.440000 174.080000 awkward, they act while they feel underprepared, they act while they feel so visible and vulnerable,
174.080000 176.480000 they act while feeling imperfect.
176.480000 182.640000 The difference is they stop making discomfort mean don't move, don't act.
182.640000 183.640000 That is the shift.
183.640000 188.640000 A lot of hesitation comes from trying to avoid emotional discomfort.
188.640000 192.640000 We do not like to go out and about in our lives and feel failure.
192.640000 196.440000 We do not like to go out and feel embarrassed or like we're being judged.
196.440000 201.320000 We also don't like regret and disappointment and that often follows when we don't allow
201.320000 204.660000 ourselves to go out and live our life.
204.660000 209.880000 So instead of risking those feelings of disappointment, judgment, regret, failure, embarrassing
209.880000 212.960000 or whatever it is, we stay in thought loops way more time.
212.960000 216.040000 We need to think about it.
216.040000 223.080000 Maybe later, I just want to make sure, listen, those are thoughtful decisions and they matter,
223.080000 228.600000 but there's also a point where we're overthinking and overthinking becomes avoidance.
228.600000 229.840000 You already know this feeling.
229.840000 234.080000 You revisit the same decision over and over and over.
234.080000 236.200000 Or you consume more content.
236.200000 241.840000 How many of us are perpetual students, sign up for another class, sign up for another class,
241.840000 242.840000 learn more.
242.840000 244.520000 I still haven't changed to learn more.
244.520000 250.600000 We wait for the magical moment where clarity arrives and suddenly everything feels easy.
250.600000 253.520000 Meanwhile, time keeps ticking.
253.520000 258.200000 It's not going to feel easy until you allow yourself to practice.
258.200000 264.400000 So many of men and women, but a lot of women have spent years learning how to be careful.
264.400000 266.800000 Careful with other people's opinions.
266.800000 268.600000 Careful not to fail publicly.
268.600000 270.480000 Careful not to ask for too much help.
270.480000 276.640000 Careful not to inconvenience anyone and especially be careful not to look foolish, please.
276.640000 282.480000 Eventually you all careful starts to feel like confinement.
282.480000 287.360000 Your whole life gets organized around emotional protection instead of expansion.
287.360000 291.800000 What is there to experience and explore and be part of and be curious about?
291.800000 294.680000 That creates an exhaustion.
294.680000 295.680000 It does.
295.680000 298.920000 When we confine ourselves to the small light, we get bored.
298.920000 299.920000 We get tired.
299.920000 303.880000 We're perpetually wanting more but not allowing it deep down.
303.880000 308.880000 If you know there's more in life for you, you can feel it.
308.880000 313.400000 It doesn't mean you need to have more achievement or more hustle or more productivity.
313.400000 317.960000 It just means you need to be more honest with yourself about where you're delaying movement,
317.960000 322.600000 where you're hesitating taking action on your life and where you need to start building
322.600000 327.880000 self trust, which means having more willingness to actually live your life instead of just
327.880000 329.960000 endlessly preparing for it.
329.960000 333.440000 Really, the only way we're going to build trust is if we allow ourselves to get out there
333.440000 337.960000 and try the thing that we want to be doing, that we want to be good at, that we want
337.960000 340.320000 to feel confident in.
340.320000 344.040000 I want to invite you to zoom out for a second.
344.040000 350.960000 Imagine yourself one year from now, not the version of you who became fearless, not the
350.960000 356.920000 version of you who suddenly got perfect motivation, but the version of you who simply
356.920000 368.840000 stopped hesitating as much, who made faster decisions, who started before feeling fully ready,
368.840000 375.240000 who stopped abandoning themselves every time discomfort showed up, how different would
375.240000 376.240000 your life look?
376.240000 382.200000 If you allowed these things, if you allowed decisions to just come in and happen, with the
382.200000 386.760000 freedom to redesign if something's not quite right for you.
386.760000 391.600000 If you allowed more trust, if you allowed yourself to practice and build evidence, what would
391.600000 392.600000 happen?
392.600000 395.120000 What would happen?
395.120000 399.000000 Most of us, our lives don't change dramatically overnight, and that's why we stopped.
399.000000 400.000000 We're like, that didn't work.
400.000000 401.000000 Didn't work.
401.000000 402.000000 I tried it.
402.000000 403.000000 I tried it.
403.000000 404.000000 It was horrible.
404.000000 405.000000 It didn't work.
405.000000 407.680000 First of all, if we're looking for change that fast, that's not going to happen unless we
407.680000 410.600000 start lying to ourselves, and that's possible.
410.600000 411.600000 That's possible.
411.600000 415.600000 But it also says you're looking to take a step that's too big, it's too big.
415.600000 423.840000 So we have to look for small moments that are repeatable, that build courage, tiny, quiet,
423.840000 429.640000 daily things, having a hard conversation, submitting an application for something you've
429.640000 430.640000 been thinking about.
430.640000 435.400000 Maybe it's a class, certification, a job, setting a boundary.
435.400000 439.200000 I think, no, I'm not going to go do that.
439.200000 442.160000 Or if you yell at me, I am going to walk away.
442.160000 446.400000 I'm going to say, we need to have this conversation later.
446.400000 448.360000 Maybe you allow yourself to just go for a walk.
448.360000 451.640000 I've been wanting to walk out in the sun.
451.640000 453.360000 I'm going to allow that to happen.
453.360000 457.720000 I'm going to show myself, I have time for that, and now, even though I have all of these
457.720000 461.640000 things that need to be done, there's always things to be done.
461.640000 465.560000 Maybe it means logging into a workshop and turning your camera on.
465.560000 472.640000 That's how your identity changes by getting out there, making small changes in the life
472.640000 477.520000 you live, and your brain categorizes that as moments to hold on to.
477.520000 479.560000 Hold on, that was nice.
479.560000 482.080000 That was a nice little breath of fresh air.
482.080000 485.680000 Here's what I want you to start practicing or invite you to.
485.680000 490.600000 Instead of asking, what if this doesn't work, this thing I'm delaying on, this hesitation?
490.600000 494.240000 Ask yourself, what if I became someone who just follows through?
494.240000 500.360000 Instead of what if I fail, ask what if I learn that I can survive being uncomfortable?
500.360000 501.920000 It doesn't last.
501.920000 502.920000 Neither does joy.
502.920000 505.040000 It all comes and goes.
505.040000 509.280000 Instead of waiting to feel confident, ask what action would the future version of me take
509.280000 510.280000 next?
510.280000 511.920000 And then do that thing.
511.920000 515.840000 Doesn't have to be perfect, doesn't have to be a five-year road map.
515.840000 517.320000 Here's what we're doing.
517.320000 520.520000 Don't jump right into commitments, stay in curiosity.
520.520000 523.080000 This is what this is likely going to look like.
523.080000 525.880000 And I will build on it from there.
525.880000 528.560000 We're only looking for the next right move.
528.560000 530.560000 We don't need the whole path.
530.560000 534.560000 When we have the whole path in sight, that's a to-do list you all.
534.560000 538.480000 If you want to build goals, if you want to go after something bigger than you can think,
538.480000 540.480000 you can't have all the steps.
540.480000 541.480000 That's not your business yet.
541.480000 542.480000 You're not ready for those.
542.480000 545.320000 So you have to be in the step that you're on.
545.320000 548.360000 Confidence is built through evidence, and evidence comes from action.
548.360000 554.320000 Not thinking, not consuming, not preparing for ever, just taking action.
554.320000 558.560000 I think one of the saddest things is how many people spend years standing at the edge of
558.560000 561.080000 their own life waiting for permission to begin.
561.080000 562.760000 And that was me, too.
562.760000 566.240000 And eventually, something comes and knocks you side the head.
566.240000 571.000000 And you realize, nobody's coming to hand you certainty.
571.000000 574.800000 Nobody's coming to say, here is your confidence.
574.800000 582.160000 It's your day, at some point you decide you move, you take a risk, you begin even while
582.160000 584.800000 uncomfortable, especially while uncomfortable.
584.800000 589.440000 Ah, so here's the question I want to leave you with today.
589.440000 595.160000 What would change in your life if you stopped waiting to feel ready and started practicing
595.160000 596.960000 being willing?
596.960000 599.720000 Not ready, just willing.
599.720000 601.200000 Give it a try.
601.200000 602.200000 Give it a try.
602.200000 607.200000 Thank you for being here for the very first YouTube video episode, and if this connected
607.200000 611.840000 with you, share it with someone who's been standing still for just a little too long.
611.840000 621.000000 I'll see you in the next episode.
621.000000 622.840000 Thank you so much for being here.
622.840000 628.080000 If something in today's episode resonated with you, we'd love for you to share a friend
628.080000 630.080000 or leave a review.
630.080000 632.640000 It helps others find this space.
632.640000 638.240000 You can find full episode transcripts and learn more about our amazing team of coaches
638.240000 644.200000 at www.burchandstonecoaching.com.
644.200000 648.600000 Until next time, stay rooted, stay resilient, and keep rising.
648.600000 650.880000 This life of ours is worth showing up for.
650.880000 656.880000 [Music]
